This is the 3. A new podcast team. Sean is Steve, Diane is Karl. It works. Do a series as the 3 of you.. love it

22:30 the poem :D

So much talk about knobs when you said my new novel I heard nob-el...

Burgers

Tubular vessel is my new favourite insult.

My first date I vomited in her toilet. We've been together 1 year and 1 month today

Ricky Gervais is deadly senile.. Same boring stories recycled (curtains, shelves) Same guests every week. “The thing about offensive comedy is...” “Twitter is like graffiti on a toilet wall” Bring back Merchant and do something worth while. Your loosing it Rick... you were a podcast Lion once.

BenTheScotsman

År siden

I mean, he's not acting like this is high quality

Every time Ricky says “this is the worst fucking show in the world” drink a shot. Dead by the end of any one of these shoes

Oh god this was fucking hilarious. Much better than the ones Ricky cuts the guests, repeats himself about some edgy stuff which he stopped thinking about years ago and try hard to sound important. Sean and Diane are the real fucking A-Team!

One of the best ones. And it's got Diane in it. That's not a coincidence.

Now the memory of me shitting myself has been reinforced.

I could listen to Diane Morgan all day..A talent..#partnergoal

FUCK BILL BURR

😂😂😂😂😂Brilliant!

We need Karl pilkington

Il just make do with re watching the XFM podcasts I think.

Oh. A different Sean McLoughlin

Where’s the bill burr episode

Jhutch

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I know I was shocked to but Bill said on his podcast he did one with Ricky

Sam Wh

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I’d love that but from what I gather Bill’s not a big fan

nolocal.info/have/video/ZXN7bJyq14OBtYg SeasideMARK Video dating entry. Check out SeasideMARK who is the funniest guy on NOlocal

Sandra’s wedding was a really great day though.

Get some different guests on.

Shagging hoovers and stupid things nans say... it's 2007 and i'm listening to russell brands podcast

Sam Wh

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“Nanecdotes” .... the best!

It's so amazing how bad comedians can be yet they still make a living out of it. Sean McLoughlin is hopelessly unfunny.

TommyCoopersMagicCarpetWeaver.

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..and, going by this episode, a bit of a smug git!

My God Sean McLoughlin is an absolute sausage...

I had forgotten how good these shows could be with the absence of actual comedians in recent weeks. This is genuinely entertaining to listen too! Also, people need to stop asking for Mercent and Pilkington.

Will these be animated too? 🤔

Matthew Wood

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Jesus Crikey! Lol

Jimmy the mad ostrich

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I've just bumped into Ricky walking out of a boozer in Hampstead, he says " No, there will not be animations of my piss-poor DeadlySirius broadcasts, as I've already got more than enough money to last me ten lifetimes, and greed is one of my biggest hates! " I believe he then went home to his £15million mansion.

Easily the best one yet - this is the dream team. Roll on next week for part 2.

Sir Barnaby St.John Toffington

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Christ on an old 1970's Chopper bicycle!! If this one exemplifies the dizzying reaches of inspirational stratospherics , may God have mercy on all arseholes . Sorry , I mean our souls! 🎩

Please have David Brent somehow come across Alan partridge. Like Alan could interview David while hes in the office making another documentary or interviews him while David's singing in the band. What a duo that would be.

MAD CONNER.

År siden

Great Idea.

Luis Carruthers

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God that's good.

Ha Ha the Mick Hodge that Shat himself on the Bus was Me!!! thanks for the Name Check but Diane didn't really do the Story Justice ,just Buzzing Ricky Name Checked me and by my Nick Name Hodgy :D

P O S T

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poobutt ass listen lads, I’m just trying to do a job here.

poobutt ass

År siden

@P O S T but how would you know youre the real mick hodge?

P O S T

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I’m the mick hodge mentioned on this podcast. All others who say they are, are lying.

Data Team

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@poobutt ass ha ha ha no you're not

poobutt ass

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same, im mick hodge

Karla Pilkington

I'm sure Karl P told that story about the poo between two panes of glass to Ricky before!

Gervais is the new Ben Elton

Love that Beatles track, short but sweet.

This is a big improvement

I’d shag Diane’s robot vacuum cleaner. Just to teach it a lesson.

This one was great! To me this sounds pretty close to the Pilkington and Merchant podcasts. Diane is almost as funny as Karl, the stuff about getting your penis stuck in a tap was hilarious, and getting people to write in with their problems is great. Definitely better than talking about standup comedy, atheism, Twitter trolls, etc for the thousandth time.

Finally another funny one

I watched the Diane Morgan in Mandy just now (on iPlayer) very good

55:59

1:07:41

Well this might have been the best episode ever

Almost as funny as gum disease.

Has Ricky never seen The Office? He should know the definition of dwarf

I know it’s unlikely that Ricky Gervais is going to read it, but fuck that, I’m gonna write it anyway. You’re a genius, sir!! I’m from Brazil and I’m a recent fan (I know, I’m quite late) and it all started with After Life... I just became addicted to your work after watching it! And then Humanity... OMG, you are so great!! I’m out of every social networks, so the only way I can keep track is through this channel and podcast. I always loved everything about the UK (specially the brits sense of humor) so it was very predictable that I would “fall in love” so easily. I know that people use these comments usually to express their hate towards you (specially on Twitter, right?!), but here I am, sending all my love and wishing you all the best, sir!!! I’m glad I’m on this planet at the same time as you, do you know what I mean?! I’m so sorry, English is obviously not my first language (not even the second - which would be sarcasm), so I might not be able to express myself very well, but I think you got the gist of it!! Take care, man! Cheers from Brazil!!

So much better without Stephen Knight

Parramatta

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Joseph Iliff fair enough I just think he’s a boring, rude prick. But each to their own

Joseph Iliff

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I quite like Stephen Knight but paired with Ricky they bring out the worst in each other winging on about the same old tired topic.

Daughter - youth, beautiful song

I came here to listen to some interesting conversations with occasional excursions into good wholesome drawing room comedy , and all I get is what could best be described as pornographic filth! I shall report this!! 🎩

I was at a wedding yesterday and it was super religious, and my mate burped really loudly during the speech but he was talking so quietly that everyone heard the burp, it was hilarious

This should be the show, add a bit of Robin Ince for flavour but this really is the A Team, brilliant, would rather listen to this "shoddy" show than any other radio show!

Trystan Humphries

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Agreed, Sir Barnaby, they save all the excrement for the scripts themselves.

Sir Barnaby St.John Toffington

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@Trystan Humphries I must confess to tuning into Radio 4 at least once a day, but although I haven't listened to The Archers since February 9th, 2000, I don't believe they ever took up valuable episode time talking about characters, excuse my French, shitting themselves! 🎩

Trystan Humphries

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(Sigh) Not another militant Radio 4 fan, will you lot leave me alone, I take it back...The Archers isn't a waste of your life.

Sir Barnaby St.John Toffington

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- would rather listen to this rubbish than any other radio show? - Christ on a sky-blue pink unicorn! Seriously? Get well soon. 🎩

I thought after life was the best thing you had created but no I turns out it's this episode. Firemen, knobs and arseholes. With material like that you guys must be up for some sort of award.😂😂😂

AJD Helix

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Worthy of the great Dicky Anderson

Sir Barnaby St.John Toffington

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Very fine use of sarcasm, Sir. 🎩

Get Ho Lee Fuk and Camp David on. Ding dong, quack quack oops.

Worst. Show. Ever? We get it Ricky - you get paid to turn up and have a chat.

Jimmy the mad ostrich

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Or in the case of this particularly stupid episode..payed to literally talk shit.

I like it how people comment that they don't like Ricky or these podcasts but they cannot see the irony !

the boys next door ...piss in pool in that film turns blue don't you know

Ricky is loosing it and going senile

TommyCoopersMagicCarpetWeaver.

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This could be the case. I've heard he's recently taken to hanging out in graveyards between 10AM and approximately 12.37PM every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, with a flask of Tetleys tea and a couple cheese and tomato sandwiches, just looking at headstones , talking to birds and quoting Nietzsche! Simultaneously imagining that he's a character in an unreleased Bob Dylan song from 1966! Good luck to him.

I don't laugh much, but the bit that ends at 16:47 killed me.

That ending was funny AF

Sir Barnaby St.John Toffington

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I'm afraid I didn't feel adequately inclined to stick with this pornographic filthy smut 'til the end, therefore i am not appropriately qualified to express an adequate level of acquiescence with your comment! 🎩

Anyone else think Ricky saying this podcast shit is just reverse psychology mind games? He must know it's top quality stuff!

TommyCoopersMagicCarpetWeaver.

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No. You can't polish a turd!

A new low. Jeez.

Another hour of three self important twats talking bollocks .

Sir Barnaby St.John Toffington

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One feels inclined , nay obliged even , to express an adequate level of acquiescence with your viewpoint. 🎩

"People love it", for whom are you speaking ? Fuck it, back to the old XFM shows for me. I'll come back here when I'm really desperate for sleep 😀

"People love it", for whom are you speaking ? Fuck it, back to the old XFM shows for me. I'll come back here when I'm really desperate for sleep 😀

I love that Ricky talking about plastic surgery will probably be the topic he always mentions that bites him on his arse 10 years later. Just like him joking about trans people on the old xfm shows...

Ricky spends his life making people laugh and making people happy..

P O S T

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Wonder Woman you should never use popularity to indicate that something is good. Plenty of really shit awful things are extremely popular. Bieber, Ed sheeran, Mrs Browns Boys, Spice Girls, Elton John....the list of popular shit things is much longer than the list of popular good things. This is not a dig at Ricky. I like most of the stuff he’s done. Right back from xfm, 11 o’ clock show, etc

Wonder Woman

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Lol yer I guess it’s good to see how you’ve changed over the years. I’ve got too many people I’ve ghosted over the years so I’ve deleted Facebook so people can’t find me lol I don’t feel like any arguments get settled on twitter, it’s just pointless rants, and a competition to win arguments with the highest number of likes. Kind of immature.

Fingaz MC

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@Wonder Woman lol spot on! And why bring it up in every show and interview/podcast he does. Like I say I'm a fan, but Twitter tittle tattle isn't for me. And Yeah, when I used to have Facebook people still realised that Online *wasn't* real life, it was fun, now people have trouble differentiating! And yeah there's a lot of fakeness on Instagram, but for me it's a nice storage place for photos (same reason I haven't deleted FB just deactivated it, incase I want the photos from there) and it is kind of cool seeing my life, looks and weight go up and down from 2012 -2019 on my Instagram timeline lol.

Wonder Woman

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I know what you mean. If he doesn’t care what people think then why does it bother him so much what people say on twitter. He said himself it’s like a toilet wall with worthless opinions. I hate Facebook, loads of people promoting their fake lives lol instagram too for that matter...

Fingaz MC

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@Wonder Woman Yeah, personally I don't really use Twitter anyway anymore (I used to be a somebody but not for many years lol), I don't keep up with celebrities and things so when he goes on these rants I haven't got the faintest idea what he's on about. And tbh I think most 'normal' people use Facebook (although I personally deactivated that as well lol) so it gets really boring after a while. I didn't mind the bit in humanity where he brought it up, but to talk about it pretty much every Sirius show is just over kill. If people on there annoy him so much then leave. That's why all I have is NOlocal, Instagram and Pornhub lol.

The person who gets the guitar out at parties was Ricky Gervais & somehow he managed to spin the sadness & desperation of wanting to be popular by mocking his own sadness & placing it in a sit-com. The outcome is that he achieved popularity by mocking his own personality & made a ton of cash by selling Free Love Highway to advertisements. Gervais is David Brent.

Fingaz MC

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I'm not the only one who noticed the advert then...

Ironically the people they mock are the people who act & think just like them; only they can’t see it in themselves.

Truth Truth

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Ronnie McColl How would someone like you know when an intelligent comment was made?

Sir Barnaby St.John Toffington

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Of course you make a perfectly legitimate and valid point. And with regard to some of the inane subject matter in this ridiculous edition - people excreting themselves etc etc and so on and so forth! I mean, personally I stopped finding that type of conversation funny at the age of about 21!

Talking of people shitting themselves. I was on a stag do decades ago. We went to Newquay and were queuing up to enter a nightclub, after a night in the pubs. The stag started to chat up 2 women in the queue. When he came back to us we were saying “pheeww what’s that stench, smells like shit”. After we got into the club the stag disappeared for 30mins. When he came back the smell of shit came back. Turns out the stag shat himself while talking to the 2 women. Rushed off to the toilet after getting in. Took off his soiled underwear wiped as much shit off as possible, then put his underwear in his pocket. So the smell of shit followed him the rest of the night. Then he tried to clean them out in the shower and his hotel room stank of steamed shit. He didn’t throw away his shitty underwear because his wife to be had bought them especially for his stag do, and he was worried she would freak out if he didn’t bring them home.

Diane is absolute class...Only really funny - this podcast- when she's on it.

Diane got it right straight away, The best way is to put your legs up the wall. Best empty the bath first as I found out the hard way.👍🏾

I had a job interview and shat myself whilst waiting for the train. I ran in to Millets and said "quick, Levis 36" she just put my purchase in a bag and charged me for it because I didn't want to discuss it further. I'm not looking, as she puts it in a bag, please. So I gets on the train, I ran to the toilet, squeezed my trousers and pants off, my soiled trousers and pants. Threw them out of the windowwww, thinking I'll won't be needing those agennnn. Looked in the bag. IT'S A JACKET!

Paul The Party Animal Parker

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@Lindsey Hartshorn and scarf to make me look like Doctor who that my mum knitted me

Lindsey Hartshorn

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Still got your biscuit tin?

Fingaz MC

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Classic old skool. Even before Ricky told it!

Is there a podcast feed of this?

P O S T

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Xipotec only on SiriusXM or audible....but you have to pay.

Ricky must know that Afterlife was sentimental crap? Not even close to the level of Extras and The Office. He is not a comedic genius it seems but 50% of a genius comedic duo that he now think he's to good for... I mean, its mostly old ladies who liked Afterlife im sure. And stupid people... But i think he's smart enough to be secretly embaressed... Then again mabye not since he's making a 2nd season 🤢🤮 He's gone full David Brent! Making "important" comedy! 🤣😂🤣 Pathetic!!!

Uncle Terry

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@Wonder Woman Thank you, its not my first language...

Wonder Woman

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Genius **

48:36

Eeeeh, Ricky said HE wrote "What was my destiny" poem on the old XFM show.

hedgehog1965uk

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@Max Ambient Well remembered. Looking that up, I see that show was broadcast 17 May 2003 and Ricky said he had remembered the poem for 25 years at that point. Well now another 16 years have passed.

Donna Claire

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Ricky always said it was the other boy. No i'm not a nerd,,, i listen now to his old podcasts cause I moved to Australia in 1990 which means i'm only just now still discovering the absolute brilliance of the shows, loved him then and love him now all the same. Fricking too hilarious and I never want it to end 👏

HKAR

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@Max Ambient Really? I will check, thanks.

Max Ambient

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I think you may have misremembered. XFM S02E39 @18m. Yes i am a nerd.

It’s just a head in a box... #personalspacewithstephencolbert

"With me Ricky Gervais, S̶e̶a̶n̶ ̶M̶c̶L̶o̶u̶g̶h̶l̶i̶n̶ ̶ Stephen Merchant and D̶i̶a̶n̶e̶ ̶M̶o̶r̶g̶a̶n̶ ̶ the round headed baldy manc twonk that is Karl Pilkington "h̶e̶l̶l̶o̶" " alright"

Heart Initiation

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bafoon

foekist

År siden

lol the good ol' days. Karl Pilkington & Stephen Merchant helped make Ricky, nowadays- when you hear him talk about the office- it's like he's the creator and I wouldn't be surprised if he stipulates that they're not to be mentioned. I love Ricky, but I'm afraid that he has forgotten where he has come from. Give me XFM podcasts repeats over this shite any day of the week.

Anyone know if we shit n piss in the Womb?

He kept saying how bad it was but at least it wasnt all about twitter this time 👌👌👌

rorrt

År siden

Don't know what you're talking about? I loved hearing about THAT FUCKING WINSTON CHURCHILL TWEET FOR THE PAST X NUMBER OF EPISODES!!!

Look, the community has been clear about this: Diane must be in all episodes. Less twitter more hitler.

P O S T

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Twitler

Fingaz MC

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Strangely I must agree!

If you dont know who Diane is search Professor Cunk...the woman is a GENIUS.

Great show. Dianes story about the boy who shat himself was so upsetting though.Arsehole teachers.

Get the K man on

Ben Tabbner

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@Fingaz MC nope

Fingaz MC

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70 hours not enough?

TommyCoopersMagicCarpetWeaver.

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Indeed. No P I L K Y no Russell Harty !

RICKYS HIGHLIGHTS 10:19 - 10:26 That is all

Cowboy Joe from Mexico - else Texas

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@Fingaz Mc kinda crap's that user name boy? We all speaks like this down Texas where i ' s from buddy. Yesiree Bob, no buckshot beatin' 'round the damn bush down Texas , just straight and to the damn point!

Fingaz MC

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@Cowboy Joe from Mexico - else TexasDo you speak like that in real life...?

Cowboy Joe from Mexico - else Texas

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Buddy I mean t ' tell y'all I can't b'lieve he's takin' the proverbial and gettin' away with his lazy-assed frog-limey buncha crap, ya' know wha' I'm sayin'? SiriusXM must be run by a real stupid-ass buncha dawg gone fools is all I gotsta say 'bout it! They's literally pissin' perfec'ly good money down the fuckin' drain with this horse shit! Nothin' but a godamn Ricky Gervais vanity project fo' sure. Fuck's up with that kinda crap? Man, to think there's folks out there strugglin' t' keep their heads above water! What in godamn tarnation's this fuckin' crazy-ass world comin' to? Maybe it's true what some o' those rantin' religious freaks is sayin' after all , that Satan's runnin' the motherfuckin' show down here! Fucked if I can be sure fo' sure man!

Diane is too good for this.

Fingaz MC

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Diane is a Goddess!

TommyCoopersMagicCarpetWeaver.

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Most people are too good for this shit!

To get your knob out of a tap you stick something up your ass. The reflex action makes your knob shrink ever so slightly. Heard it from a friend.

That guy who wants to tell his friend that he’s in love with her. Just say to her “hey we should go out helping each other to get dates by pretending we are a couple. We can make it a game” she how she reacts. If she’s up for it either way you will get someone to kiss you and at some point you can suggest she kisses you to make it real in some situation that’ll make sense when you are in it. If the kiss is magic you’ll see it in her eyes. That’s what I’d do because I’m silly and stuff.

Jimmy the mad ostrich

År siden

Fingaz Mc introversion and social phobia's are real things. Not everyone's on the same level.

experiment54

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Fingaz Mc well basically that’s what he’s asking, and my suggestion helps him along to developing one.

Fingaz MC

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Or they could get a personality...

...this thing is so weirdly bad. The same few people rotated each “show” whilst Ricky shouts and bullies them. Rehashing 2-3 topics. Twitter, religion, free speech... it’s so depressing. And I’m a fan!!! Stephen Merchant was right, sadly

Sir Barnaby St.John Toffington

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@Paul The Party Animal Parker A very nice trip down memory lane to when Ricky was funny. 🎩

Paul The Party Animal Parker

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He just had it out with Merchant in there. Steve was slagging you off. Just saying Ricky and his twitter lot are shit. Ricky said we're shit? You and your fans are slugggs. Little slugs with no personality. Did Ricky hit him? If he did, then Steve would have gone through that wall 👉. Seriously, if it kicks off between them on the Graham Norton show, get out. Don't want you getting hurt. This is big boy shit.

Uncle Terry

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Ricky has gone full David Brent!

Donna Claire

År siden

Steohen Merchant has never said anything remotely nasty or malicious involving Ricky. Seriously, some people should go and find something new to take offence about cause your trolling is past its use by date. NEXT!

Cowboy Joe from Mexico - else Texas

År siden

Man I ain't heard what good ole boy Stephen Merchant's said neither..but my guess is it's somethin' more or less somethin' along the lines of..he's dis'ppeared so far up his own damn backside and enjoyed it so damn much he can't find the damn way back out again back to civilization, poor bastard!

Diane .aw .I love her dolsic tones and her accent I love.she is so laid back , horizontal springs to mind.and not in a shaggy way. But I would. She is really good in her office in the Netflix four parter you did with her.wassit called again. Got title. Afterlife. She rocks he part in that.sweet lass a say.

youknowz BRO

År siden

@Direnova .ugh my life is rather phonetic at best of tymes. And amma scot.from paisley. Sowenna tok.asum tymes mispell a phew hings. An at da enn ovtha day.it away means the same thing.

Direnova

År siden

@youknowz BRO I've got a friend with dyslexia, it makes him an amazing lateral thinker. If i want any format optimised to a ridiculous level, he's my first port of call.

youknowz BRO

År siden

@Direnova while I was writing it i thought .this is wrang. BTW wrang is Scottish for wrong.

youknowz BRO

År siden

@Direnova I am dyslexic so welcome to my world.

Direnova

År siden

@Paul The Party Animal Parker I'll give you 10 minutes, after that, it's dog eat dog.

We had a lad shit himself on a school trip, whilst wearing beige trousers. I think we were about 11. Nice info. Ha!

Just turn the tap on.

You know what we all want... Diane & Karl on the same podcast

Ricky I know you won't read this but if you do I'm wrong . That is all.

Play a record

TommyCoopersMagicCarpetWeaver.

År siden

Sun Ra and his Arkestra - "UFO" would give all listeners a cosmic high.

Yey, Diane's back! Finally a bit of comedy!

poobutt ass

År siden

karl 2.0

It is a bit weird doing gigs on your honeymoon...

poobutt ass

År siden

how is it? claim honeymoon back on expenses since hes working

suddenly... "orange"

I heard Bill Burr say something about doing podcast with Ricky, does anybody know if this is true?

Black Hole

År siden

@Mr Yeah exactly... I'm guessing it went well though because Bill sounded pretty positive when he spoke about it.

Mr

År siden

I’d assume so and it’ll be upcoming. It’s weird given the criticism burr gave Ricky in the early podcast days. It’s buried on NOlocal somewhere.

J. Jonah Jameson

År siden

@DefMettle You confused Burr with your mom

DefMettle

År siden

i fucking hope not. bill burr is a twat

WE WANT BILL BURR

Hi Ricky I'm a big fan of you especially Derek and everything you have done ❤

Saint Don

År siden

@TommyCoopersMagicCarpetWeaver. I personally liked boyle's tramadol nights ...that didn't get re-commissioned though

TommyCoopersMagicCarpetWeaver.

År siden

Personally I can't help but agree with Frankie Boyle who once said in some TV studio or other : " I don't need Ricky Gervais to tell me God doesn't exist when we live in a universe where DEREK was re-commissioned twice!!! "

Yes! Diane Morgan is back!